i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
