what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
