The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
