If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
