Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The power of my boobs compel you
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
