good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
