All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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