i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
