smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
