And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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