I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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