When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
