You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
