ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
