Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Randomize
