Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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