Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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