So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
