Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
sarcasm needs its own font
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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