I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
