big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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