My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
