You really coming over, don't trick.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
