mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
