giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
