The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Fuck appropriateness.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
