Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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