There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize