haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
