The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize