Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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