she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize