Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
