I'm jealous of your bromance
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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