You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
