I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
