i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
