TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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