hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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