So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
