he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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