Nicole vs. Life
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize