Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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