hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
