I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
