Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
high people should be assigned attendants
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize