Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
