If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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