Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
