Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
