how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
