I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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