you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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