hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
