He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
there is puke in my bra ... again
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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