This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
