Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
