bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
