Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
