he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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