I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize