Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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