Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
