i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
