Got a toothbrush?
White coat. Heels.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize