oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
