he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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