i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
