we're blogging at a bar
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
