i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
