i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
