I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
