Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
